Sunday, September 21, 2008

I should have known

I did know.  As soon as he said "what's up", I knew.

Ok, so I had a feeling. When I asked what was wrong, he told me that it was in my head, that I shouldn't "manufacture trouble".

Why wouldn't he just say, "hey, had a date, I'm tired". It wasn't just some crazy feeling I was making up, he was avoiding me, he was tired from his date.

This is the kind of stuff that drives me crazy. Makes me feel like I am crazy. This friend makes me question my feelings, emotions. It has eroded my confidence in my thinking capabilities. I can't trust my intuition.

I've acknowledged, I've accepted the Happy Ending. Why does he treat our friendship like it something clandestine. That I will be angry hurt or upset about her? How many times do I have to say, don't hide the truth from me?

It isn't that you see her that hurts me, it's your continued hiding.

I expect I won't be hearing from you today. You will  pretend that, once again, this is all me and I'm just overreacting.

I'm not, I'm just putting words through my fingertips that will not come from my mouth.

 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Sounds to me like this friend is playing mind games and the friend needs to be honest with you!
Missie