I am in the misdt of painfree time and thinking back. I want to obsess over the famous "meeting". My meeting with the man that I have only known by voice, typed words and pictures.
We hoped that our meeting would be the reality that I needed to face to get off his back about being mine. He may still think that it worked, I'm not so sure. If nothing else it made me realize that there is hope for me, that there might be someone out there that I can bare to be around for more than 5 minutes. I think it could be him.
However, I also know it's not reciprocated. Itsjustme. I understand and accept. It's sad because there is a bond, comfort, I am attracted, I wanted to kiss him. And, he was chewing gum for Gods sake! Now you'd have to know I have a thing for chewing, I obsess over those that I think chew too loud, with their mouth open, ice, popcorn just about everything that makes noise when being crunched by rows of teeth.
Too much has happened the past 5 days. Too much for my heart and body to bare. I am trying to relive my happy day of Friday but my body hurt is overpowering my happiness. I had hoped that a focus through fingertips and typed words would allow me to take off on a day dream. I guess not, My body is winning over my mind!
3 comments:
Mary sent me...I've been around j-land for over 4 years.
You are a very very brave woman.
nice to met you, rose
You just had surgery so your body is hurting, & I sense your mind is hurting also, over many things other than the surgery.
You need some rest, & some comfort. ~Mary
I understand you totally. I am worn out and tired. My mind races too much over things i shoudnt be so worried about. .... hugs, Christine
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