Defeated is more of my mood. I am defeated by life in general, I feel like I have lost the war.
How can he not miss me? How is it that he happily skips through his life without me, even as a friend?
I feel like a big part of my mind, time and many reasons to think good, happy things are gone. Was I really that dependant that it is a relief for me to have gone away?
For me the worst part of this ending is that he doesn't talk to me. It's done, over I no longer exist. Then again he already has his "happy ending" to keep him occupied. Probably a good thing for him to focus on her.
I don't know what I represented to him.
I have so much work I have to do. I am going to sit for hours, stare at my screen and only think "I wish he would call".
Never Die Young / JT words:
We were ring-around-the-rosy children
They were circles around the sun
Never give up, never slow down
Never grow old, never ever die young
Synchronized with the rising moon
Even with the evening star
They were true love written in stone
They were never alone, they were never that far apart
And we who couldnt bear to believe they might make it
We got to close our eyes
Cut up our losses into doable doses
Ration our tears and sighs
You could see them on the street on a saturday night
Everyone used to run them down
Theyre a little too sweet, theyre a little too tight
Not enough tough for this town
We couldnt touch them with a ten-foot pole
No, it didnt seem to rattle at all
They were glued together body and soul
That much more with their backs up against the wall
Oh, hold them up, hold them up
Never do let them fall
Prey to the dust and the rust and the ruin
That names us and claims us and shames us all
I guess it had to happen someday soon
Wasnt nothing to hold them down
They would rise from among us like a big baloon
Take the sky, forsake the ground
Oh, yes, other hearts were broken
Yeah, other dreams ran dry
But our golden ones sail on, sail on
To another land beneath another sky
1 comment:
Hey!
It's not about figuring out why they are doing what they are not doing. If you could explain to me exactly why she will not speak or acknowledge me, as if anyone, especially her, had an explanation, it would not change my lot. I have to go through this, but I must not dwell here. If I lay claim to this spot and stake out my ground to wait for the return of past elations I am destine to remain alone. For whatever reason I will never know, understand or accept, to spite my mourning, she is going on with her life without me. As though she never wanted me and will never forgive me for things I never knew I never did.
We need to get on with life before we fall down the stairs and our dogs eat us! Well, actually she kept the dogs and I don’t have any stairs, but I’d give anything to have them here to eat me the next time I fall out of bed. I just know the parade of life is not routed through my living room. That is not to say a clown won’t show up every now and again. The point is, I’ve got to get at least as close as the curb if I expect to enjoy any part of the parade.
Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing! ~
Post a Comment