I don't get it...

Or, maybe I do, I'm not sure. Is it the medium or is it the gender? I'd like to think it's the medium and believe that there are some really great men out there somewhere. But, I'm jaded and lost my sense of trust a while ago. Even tho I want to believe, the realist in me is saying "what! are ya crazy?!".

Maybe it's just the genes, a hereditary trait, something that you can't get beyond because it's inherent in you, you're born with it (oh another long sentence).

I'm talking about the belief that the people we choose to befriend, love, want in our lives are good. They are not out to hurt, their intentions are good, honorable. They are as truthful to you as you are to them. My daughter and I have that gene, we inherited the optimist view of friendship.

Man oh man... when will we learn that it is a flaw? A flaw we need to overcome, over compensate for with distrust, disbelieve, suspect, doubt. And not ourselves, but all we come in contact with.

She got a call from a "girlfriend" today. Not her girlfriend, the girlfriend of a guy she's been seeing. A girl that said "you know I'm living with him". My daughter didn't have a clue, had no idea a girlfriend was involved, a live in one at that. What is it with men? What is it with us?

Seriously, what have we done to deserve to be treated so crappy?

Oh oh oh!! There I go again, somehow I always twist it to be our fault, we deserve to be lied to, we aren't worthy of the truth. Where did that come from? Why do I think that?

She didn't get angry, she got sad. She berated herself for not knowing, for trusting, believing that he was telling the truth. She is so like her mother.

How can I help her to break this cycle?

I told here it wasn't her. She was lucky to find out now, not years down the road. She should be glad she's not the woman that he is supposedly committed to. What kind of commitment is that? How hurtful would it be to be on the other side of the lie?

I wish someone could explain to me how men can justify this is their head. How they can look at themselves in the mirror and not feel a little bad. What are they thinking? Are we somehow less than they are? If I could just get a little glimpse of the thought process maybe I could help her to learn, grow, get past, be smarter of those she chooses to give a piece of herself to.