OMG! I seriously think I might be finally winding down from a 3 year journey into a crazy crap. Learned there might be some medical reasoning (good excuse anyway)behind my crazies and I am trying to focus on what's real and what isn't.
I keep establishing these links with folks that don't give a shit about me. My problem is I am a great listener, I am curious and ask questions and who they are, interests, history, my focus is totally on them while their curiosity of me is non existent. But, they like to talk to me and I confuse that, with actually caring about me.
I continue to compromise myself and my beliefs, continue to lower my standards of living and my standard of life just so that I don't lose the comfort of their voice telling me how their day was, what they did that day, what upset them what made them happy. I listen and I listen and I listen. And, I believe, I believe they are worthy of knowing no matter how far from the truth it is. They have so many layers of lies I can't keep them straight any more. Some how I am convinced that my hurt is my fault, I shouldn't take things so personally, and if I do, those things aren't any of my business anyway. can't I just listen and shut up?
Seriously?!
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