Yes another Saturday night at home by myself, Not that it wasn't a productive day, Just didn't get accomplished what I started out to do. I wanted to take Bear for a drive and go tanning, pretty simple stuff. Instead I logged into a chat room and was inundated by IM's. Met this guy whos name is Paul we chatted for almost 4 hours. We created this great question and answer chat that lead us off in may different directions. It also introduced ourselves to levels of each other that normally would haven't been expressed in this new of a conversaton. It was almost like finding this perfect mate that fits all of your curves, orifices and crazy little sparks that work their way up every so often. But then reality sets in and you know neither of you have a clue what the other looks like. If we were to base a realatonship on what we learned this afternoon, I would be in heaven, Ain't gonna happen, But that's ok, As long as I can have those short time in space where i feel such a strong connection with someone I can live with that. It still makes me feel special.
I have been testing the waters with Match.Com. I found that when I had big and beautiful used as body type no one responded, suddenly my body became curvey and I got 5 winks almost instantly. Most seem that they have great potential. I have talked with 2, met with 1 and became biblical with him. Probably a little quick but what the heck. The second is a little out of my boyfriend comfort zone, but what the heck, I'll give it a shot, I do think that we could be great friends.
Personally I am looking for contentment and healthy lives for my children. My role in creating contentment for my children is staying mentally healthy and happy, Which I couldn't do with their Dad. It was a desructive relationship in how we raised the kids. He was the goal setter, the go getter, you better not fail, and the punisher, I was the what's the big deal, they aren't doing drugs, having sex or beating up on people, we're lucky, get off their back. Gee a little misguided don't ya think? SO in the interest of the children the more dysfunctional parent left (me). So far so good.
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