I thought I would be ok (2)

I talked to him last night, the old one. At least I attempted to. I thought I was ready, over the hurt, moved on. I thought I was ready to be his friend. I want to talk like we did before, I want to laugh, talk about life, death, music and movies. I want to catch the train together like we did before. How can I let my old comforter go?

I shut down, again. I tried so hard to get past the sadness and hurt and I couldn't. I love this guy so darn much. He helped me in so many ways, but the hurt he caused by his withholding the truth is overwhelming the goodness and I hate that.

I want his hand to cradle the phone again with me on the other end of the line.

I need to have him back in my life and I don't know how to let him in.